these are just some random jokes and or reads that i have come across and found either interesting or just plain funny. if you have any you would like to send me, feel free to e-mail them to me.

don't ask for anything from your kids
a little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, where's mom and dad?" and she replied,"they're up in bed." the little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play.

then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "where's mom and dad?" and she replied "they're still up in bed." again the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play.

then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma "where's mom and dad?" and his grandmother replied "they're still up in bed." the little boy started to laugh and his grandmother cried with anger, "what's wrong? every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! what is going on here?" The little boy replied, "well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the vaseline and I gave him super glue."

victoria's secret
a man goes to victoria secret to buy his wife the most sheer lingerie he can find. the woman behind the counter goes and gets an outfit.

"this is $200," she says.
"i want one that's more sheer," says he.
"this one is $350."
"i want it even more sheer than that."
"this one is the most sheer that we have. It's $500."
"i'll take it!"

the man goes home to his wife and shows it to her saying, "go put this on and come down to model it for me." his wife goes upstairs, opens the box and thinks, "this thing is so see-through that the old coot won't even notice if i'm wearing it or not. i can take this back for a refund and he won't know the difference." so his wife comes out wearing nothing at all and strikes a pose at the top of the stairs. "so, how do you like it?" she asks. her husband then complains, "darn, you'd think for $500 they'd iron the dang thing!"

twenty-four kisses
01. kiss on the head - he/she adores you
02. kiss on the ear - romantic
03. kiss on the lips - he/she loves you
04. kiss on the neck - he/she wants you
05. kiss on the cheek - friendship
06. kiss on the shoulder - you're wonderful
07. kiss on the forehead - comfort
08. kiss on the nose - you're terrific
09. french kiss - you turn him/her on
10. kiss anywhere else - watch out
11. playing with your hair - he/she can't be without you
12. holding hands - you make him/her happy
13. blowing in your ear - start worrying
14. arm around your waist - he/she needs you
15. looks into your eyes - kiss him/her
16. raising eyebrows - flirting
17. smiles - you make him/her happy
18. friendly slap on the butt - getting together
19. squeezing hands - don't leave him/her now
20. wet lips - he/she wants to keep you
21. filled with laughter - he/she enjoys being with you
22. gives you a ring - he/she wants you all their life
23. hickeys - he/she wants to show you're theirs
24. breathing fast - get out of there!!